The last fortnight has been one when I have reflected very deeply on loss. The trigger was the passing of two people in my extended family..a great grand-aunt who was past 100 years in age and my husband's youngest uncle, who had lived "three score years and ten"(70).
I was struck by the vastly different nature of the two passings.
The former was a death that had been expected for a while, and one that had clocked too many years of suffering on the person as well as her family, who had watched her waste away from old age. She was a remarkable alert mind in an aged and decaying body..what cruel punishment for her. Most of us remarked when she passed that she had been freed of further suffering and had moved to better places.
The latter was a study in how evanescent life is, and can be. My husband's uncle was a dynamic and cheerful man, full of life and laughter. A week's illness took him from us, and the whole family is still having a hard time coping with the loss.
It must be hard to walk back into a room after a person has passed and see everything as it was before, but missing a person to touch the room with their presence. It must be hard to think of something one wants to share or seek advice on to figure out that the person with whom the conversation will take place is in another dimension..it is hardest for those who are left behind, especially if we have no time to prepare for the loss.
Loss brings hoe to us how much we are blessed with and never think of. Loss makes us humble and makes us turn ourselves to higher powers...to seek answers, and solace and strength. Loss therefore is a necessary part of living a full life. May one find it within to cope with dignity and balance and eventually move to peace..May God protect us all in His compassionate face.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Proudly Indian, 'Internationally'
I wrote this note on 25th December last year..wanted to add it to my blog..
To end the year on this note is something I did not consciously plan. But it it something that is happening as a circumstantial reaction.
I went through the newspaper articles on the theme of 26/11 - a year on, with that mixed sense of dissapointment that any Indian would have felt to read that we are still chasing the bad guys (and paying Rs 30 crores to keep one of them alive). I wondered what I could have done. All I do isbe rhetorical? So do I have a right to question any of it? I have not taken an active stand. I was out of the country. So I did not even march in solidarity. Even if I could have, I would not have been able to. So I read the newspaper reports about Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, and all the other martyrs, and then the next day arrived.
Felt a little outrage at the poor show of political leaders at the memorial for the martyrs of the attack on the Parliament. But I did nothing.
Then I read about the Haagen Daaz incident. To open a store in the capital of a country, and bar any citizen at all from walking in, is just a wee much. This time I silently struck Haagen Daaz off my list of preferred brands.
I do not buy the explanations. They are just eye wash and the executives are hoping that the media will find the next big thing to cry out about. They are claiming poor knowledge of English on the part of mysterious links in the chain, who seem to have remarkably poor English in that they do nto understand the import of words like 'International'..
What has amazed me is that some people are willing to let it go as a mere 'Ooops' incident...How much are we willing to forgive, people?
We forgive attacks on our frontiers, in our cities. We forgive attacks on our students in Australia. We forgive poor standard of leadership. We forgive a bit too much.
What can we do? We can take a tiny stand, everyday. We can try and wear a handloom saree or an item of handloom origin on one day every week so that the saree industry and the handloom industry is just a little boosted by our custom. We can boycott brands that send out mixed racist messages, like the one mentioned in this note.
We can be less apologetic of our origins and roots. (In fact, lets demand a little more service the next time we are abroad, and not less: we are more in number, and it will eventually make business sense for people to listen to us). Let us not tolerate being treated like second class citizens in hotels and resorts where firang guests are clearly given preference...(I am sure we all have a Kerala/Rajasthan/Goa story to narrate or relate to where Indian service staff made us feel like second class citizens in our own country..
We pride ourselves on our sense of hospitality. I do feel proud of or heritage. But remember, guests have a code of conduct too. When we are guests in someone else's home we do not have license to destroy their home, or to treat them without respect or with disregard for human dignity. So let's be more rational in our hospitality and not tolerate people who can come in, walk all over our toes and leave without apologising. Because when tables are turned, they will not extend the same courtesy to you or me.
Assert your self as an Indian. We were civilised 5000 years ago..in the Early Vedic Age we had a more tolerant and equitable society than we do today. Civilisation is exhibiting respect for differences, and showing consideration for others. Let us understand that, and express our identity in a civilised way, but assertively.
We understand the meaning of the word 'International'..perhaps a huge surprise to people who may expect us to ride elephants into their stores. But the far bigger question, my visitor friend, is: Do YOU?
To end the year on this note is something I did not consciously plan. But it it something that is happening as a circumstantial reaction.
I went through the newspaper articles on the theme of 26/11 - a year on, with that mixed sense of dissapointment that any Indian would have felt to read that we are still chasing the bad guys (and paying Rs 30 crores to keep one of them alive). I wondered what I could have done. All I do isbe rhetorical? So do I have a right to question any of it? I have not taken an active stand. I was out of the country. So I did not even march in solidarity. Even if I could have, I would not have been able to. So I read the newspaper reports about Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, and all the other martyrs, and then the next day arrived.
Felt a little outrage at the poor show of political leaders at the memorial for the martyrs of the attack on the Parliament. But I did nothing.
Then I read about the Haagen Daaz incident. To open a store in the capital of a country, and bar any citizen at all from walking in, is just a wee much. This time I silently struck Haagen Daaz off my list of preferred brands.
I do not buy the explanations. They are just eye wash and the executives are hoping that the media will find the next big thing to cry out about. They are claiming poor knowledge of English on the part of mysterious links in the chain, who seem to have remarkably poor English in that they do nto understand the import of words like 'International'..
What has amazed me is that some people are willing to let it go as a mere 'Ooops' incident...How much are we willing to forgive, people?
We forgive attacks on our frontiers, in our cities. We forgive attacks on our students in Australia. We forgive poor standard of leadership. We forgive a bit too much.
What can we do? We can take a tiny stand, everyday. We can try and wear a handloom saree or an item of handloom origin on one day every week so that the saree industry and the handloom industry is just a little boosted by our custom. We can boycott brands that send out mixed racist messages, like the one mentioned in this note.
We can be less apologetic of our origins and roots. (In fact, lets demand a little more service the next time we are abroad, and not less: we are more in number, and it will eventually make business sense for people to listen to us). Let us not tolerate being treated like second class citizens in hotels and resorts where firang guests are clearly given preference...(I am sure we all have a Kerala/Rajasthan/Goa story to narrate or relate to where Indian service staff made us feel like second class citizens in our own country..
We pride ourselves on our sense of hospitality. I do feel proud of or heritage. But remember, guests have a code of conduct too. When we are guests in someone else's home we do not have license to destroy their home, or to treat them without respect or with disregard for human dignity. So let's be more rational in our hospitality and not tolerate people who can come in, walk all over our toes and leave without apologising. Because when tables are turned, they will not extend the same courtesy to you or me.
Assert your self as an Indian. We were civilised 5000 years ago..in the Early Vedic Age we had a more tolerant and equitable society than we do today. Civilisation is exhibiting respect for differences, and showing consideration for others. Let us understand that, and express our identity in a civilised way, but assertively.
We understand the meaning of the word 'International'..perhaps a huge surprise to people who may expect us to ride elephants into their stores. But the far bigger question, my visitor friend, is: Do YOU?
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